: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
