I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
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He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
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At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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