Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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