I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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