real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
