I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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