so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
