You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
