Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
