Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Randomize
