I could make wine with my vomit
Do vagina's smell?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
