I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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