no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
