it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize