it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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