It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
