it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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