I just made out with a guy for $7.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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