You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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