32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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