did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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