I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
