i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
