I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
