What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Randomize
