Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Randomize
