i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
