My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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