Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
