I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
