Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
