I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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