i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
