I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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