If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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