you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize