Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
