went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
