is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
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