let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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