I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
