you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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