Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
