So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
