You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
