i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Quick, to the slutcave!
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
