that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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