my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
What a dumb baby whore.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Randomize
