your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
