Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
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