so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
that may or may not have been my penis.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
