He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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