I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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