he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
