He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
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I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
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I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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