People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
How's work?
Spinning.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I believe in your delicious
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
