NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
