dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
