She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
