What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
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Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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