woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
