i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
