In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
